So I had lunch with her, we talked a lot and while I don't agree or respect her decision, I guess I understand it a little more. I still want to lock her up. She's gonna lose so many people in her life if she doesn't stop making such stupid choices and ignoring anyone else's advice. Oh well, I have another friendgirl who's frickin amazing and has never been so stupid or such a bad friend. If I had money I'd buy this girl a trophy lol.
Anyways, I read something like two days ago that I can't stop thinking about. It said that like 90 percent of Americansk instincts never change from what they were in high school. Hence the saying, high school never ends. Its super depressing because I know that my dumb friend seems to be getting worse rather than better, but its doubly depressing for me because in highschool I was this obnoxious vindictive playboy using cheating asshole. I hurt a lot of girls and I regret it every day. I split up entire groups of friends and hurt worse than anyone else, my current girlfriend of two years. I don't want to cheat or lie to her anymore and its been a secret struggle for me for like ever. I know I don't deserve this amazing girl but its like I'd die without her. I've recently discovered through thinking that I kinda have always compartmentalized my cheating in a separate spot from my life/ my girlfriend and that's completely horrible because it totally affects her/us and I know she'll always find out. I need to think first about her like all the time, rather than just when it directly pertains to her. I guess this compartmentalization has always been one of those instincts from high school. I want to overcome it and I want to completely be in a normal and functioning relationship with no cheating or lying for a change. If anyone has any input or advice or questions for me I'd love to hear from you guys.
Well, time to go wake up the amazing girlfriend. Thanks readers :)
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