Boobies ( . )( . )

I'm a guy. I love boobs. That's like, genetics. But why in gods name do I have to always want to see them. I have a lot of female friends and for like 95 percent of them, I'd love to see they're boobs. I don't want to have sex with them. I have no "more than friends" type feelings for them. So why o why do u always wanna see they're boobs? Its a conundrum! I love mu girlfriend's. I think they're perfect. So why?! It baffles me. Its like weird cuz I think some of my female friends are pretty/hott/beautiful etc. But I don't like, lust for them or anything. Its like I'm just aware of it you know? And another thing that bothers me is that like, I feel like I can't let them know that I think they're beautiful or whatever because that crosses some invisible line that's even a bigger line because I have a girlfriend, regardless of my intentions.
Ok, I love star wars. I do. I think its the shit once a person actually reads the books and sees how much more there is to this imaginary universe. But something that I can relate to and really cling on to in this universe is this idea of the light side and dark side of the force and the resisting of temptation. Most things selfish or aggressive would be considered dark side and most selfless and for the good of all people would be considered light side. But upon reading so many of the books and thinking in my spare time, I find that most of it comes down to intentions. (Which is how this relates to the boobs subject) Let's say some guy kills a family of people living on a farm. That's dark right? Now let's say they kill the family because they have 100 slaves in an underground bunker and its the only way to save them. Still dark? See that's where it becomes iffy. Let's say someone manipulates their friend into not going on a date with a great guy even though they're lonely, dark right? Now let's say that the lonely friend actually has dependency issues and this great guy actually has a history of being violent with girls that the lonely friend either doesn't know about or doesn't believe because they're so hopeful to be with someone. Still dark? I think not. I believe no matter what people do in life their intentions define whether it is a good or bad act, so long as they aren't manipulating this so that the ends justify the means. Like saying I want to protect my family, so I'm gonna go kill as many black people as I can because they scare me. That's retarded and obviously this person is trying to justify their actions. I think if you have to justify your actions to anyone, including yourself, they aren't just at all and you should stop deluding yourself.
This is why I don't ask my female friends to show me they're breasts, because despite my urges to see them or my intentions thereof, the ends don't justify the means. So sorry boobs, maybe someday when you're drunk and I walk in on something I shouldn't see lol. Or the other way around XD
Lol thanks for hearing me out. I'll ttyl world.

6 days

Its been 6 days since I posted last. Its been a long couple of days. My stupid friend is still being stupid and is like, beyond help. O well. Eff that lol. Two nights ago I got smashed on accident on some captain morgan and my friends and girlfriend had to drive me home and carry me up the stairs and throw me in bed. That was embarrassing to say the least. I closed all by myself at work last night. That was a bitch. But o well its money. Speaking of money I'm really scared I won't be able to make rent this month. My gf is unemployed so I'm the only one bringing any money in and its just not enough. Its always on my mind and I hate it. I have a girl at work who wants to have sex with me and I told her no and to not talk or text me anymore but she was at work last night and wouldn't stop looking at me and it was soooo awkward. I hate it. O well. Ill post again soon.

Another day, another post

So I had lunch with her, we talked a lot and while I don't agree or respect her decision, I guess I understand it a little more. I still want to lock her up. She's gonna lose so many people in her life if she doesn't stop making such stupid choices and ignoring anyone else's advice. Oh well, I have another friendgirl who's frickin amazing and has never been so stupid or such a bad friend. If I had money I'd buy this girl a trophy lol.
Anyways, I read something like two days ago that I can't stop thinking about. It said that like 90 percent of Americansk instincts never change from what they were in high school. Hence the saying, high school never ends. Its super depressing because I know that my dumb friend seems to be getting worse rather than better, but its doubly depressing for me because in highschool I was this obnoxious vindictive playboy using cheating asshole. I hurt a lot of girls and I regret it every day. I split up entire groups of friends and hurt worse than anyone else, my current girlfriend of two years. I don't want to cheat or lie to her anymore and its been a secret struggle for me for like ever. I know I don't deserve this amazing girl but its like I'd die without her. I've recently discovered through thinking that I kinda have always compartmentalized my cheating in a separate spot from my life/ my girlfriend and that's completely horrible because it totally affects her/us and I know she'll always find out. I need to think first about her like all the time, rather than just when it directly pertains to her. I guess this compartmentalization has always been one of those instincts from high school. I want to overcome it and I want to completely be in a normal and functioning relationship with no cheating or lying for a change. If anyone has any input or advice or questions for me I'd love to hear from you guys.
Well, time to go wake up the amazing girlfriend. Thanks readers :)

FIRSTIES!!!

So this is my first post here. I hope people have interesting things to say lol. Tomorrow I'm having lunch with a friend who's a great, but stupid girl. She's like really smart and intuitive with other people but when it comes to her own life she just like runs into traffic over and over and over and over again. Its dumb. I hope she doesn't try to talk to me about her stupid decisions cuz I have no sympathy for her. I'm not sure what to do about her. I wish I could put her in an institution. Wish me luck

Ps I love questionssss!